she calls me from the airport and says "hey i really need a ride from the airport, i can't get a plane out"
so i figure...delay
i tell her i am working and need an hour
so she says "ok i'll call back if i need you"
in the mean time i have some ideas or whatever to get her
and i try calling her back
no answer after like 5 calls
6th call
i just hear random yelling about terrorists
and i'm like "WTF?"
after a half hour i get a call back from her
and she says "its all cool we got a flight, i'll call you when i get home"
i figure maybe i called the wrong number and start to ask whats up with the terrorist thing
but she hangs up
so she just calls me back
and says
"man i was with my boss, and she was so drunk:
"
her boss is like this 80 year old 4 foot 11 skinny tiny lady
she had 4 glasses of wine in the airport bar
and by the time they got on the plane
she was so shitfaced that they threw her ass off the plane
so the boss gets all mad
and starts yelling about how she's not a terrorist
ppl getting crazy watching her
and she goes "I HAVE TO PEE"
so my mom escorts her into the bathroom and closes the door
leaves her in there
and the lady comes out with a giant fucking piss stain
from her stomach to her ankles
she forgot to take her fucking pants off
to take a piss
so here is my mom, in an airport, with an old lady that is covered in piss ad stinking of booze, screaming about terrorists and oxygen levels
and she keeps trying to smoke in there
and yelling at ppl
so she had to sit outside with her for like two hours to get her sobered up enough to get on the plane
so she gets her ticket
and the lady gets on the plane
and starts screaming again
about how she wants to talk to the CEO of united NOW MOTHERFUCKERS
thrown off the plane again...
so they wait another hour, get on another plane, and the lady sleeps through the flight
and wakes up
COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS
to what happened
and says to the passenger next to her
"you know we got thrown off two flights before this one, and you know why? because they said we didn't have enough oxygen levels, how the hell do they know about my oxygen"
